What goes where?

First and foremost ONLY Tudors belong on the friends list. People on the friends list have the ability to see if you are online, so you definitely don't want other houses on there. The Friends list should be mostly made up of people in your own alliance to help them out. Stealing within the alliance is allowed but ONLY if you message the individual in chat and they're not around. Also it should not be done repeatedly. Doing so will result in a warning message being sent. Repeated stealing (meaning multiple times over a short period of time) when someone is online (and responds to you) will result in you being kicked from the alliance.

The Adversary list on the other hand is where you place all the people from other houses that you wish to steal from. You can't see when they are online but you still have the ability to steal from these people and you should be daily. I routinely take a hundred to couple hundred thousand in resources from these people daily. I have personally targeted at least the top 50 players from the 2 other houses and check them multiple times a day.

Also... don't give hearts to the enemy... only to those on your friends list.

To delete people from your Friends list you just click the 'trash can' off to the far right and that deletes them.

To add people to your adversary list is a bit more difficult. You have to click on the 'friend' button, then click 'adversary' and then manually add the names there. It is a lengthy process unfortunately.

Been trying to delete this Kiaran guy, but he keeps coming back!

still can't delete somebody from adversary list

I think it's bugged to where you can't actually delete someone unless you both add each other to friends list... there have been comments made elsewhere regarding this on the forums.

Can you copy and paste your list of adversary's here so we can make things easier to do as I have just spent almost an hour sorting my lists out and putting the names in it. I cant seem to copy names in-game to make the job quicker.

I suggest any person who attacks ANYONE in our alliance should be added to you adversary list.
I don't just mean the person who was attacked, but by everyone. They make themselves adversaries by attacking our colleague, and we get revenge, (no matter what level) by stealing from them.

I agree, every time I see someone attacking us in ally military I immediately add them to the adversary list.
But please oh please game maker overlords ... let me delete people from my adversary list dammit !!!!

This can be done and takes a little time but worth it.
Firstly open the Rankings page and only select the names of non-Tudors.
Then open the Friends page and select the Adversary List.
Type the name of the selected non-Tudor into the box at the bottom of the Adversary window and click add.
Do this repeatedly.
This method will rewrite your adversary list.
Each name added will replace, a tombstone, friend or fill an empty space on the list.
If a name is already on the list it will tell you.
Using this method I replaced about eighteen pages of tombstones, (with a few friends), in my adversary list with ACTIVE adversaries, so I collect many more resources than I need on a daily basis without having to fight for them.